On Thursdays and Friday nights and every other Saturday I get a little taste of what it is like to be a single parent.
On these nights Daddy works a full day and then goes straight to his second job and doesn't come home until after midnight if everything runs to plan. If it doesn't I have known him to come home two or three hours after that. On the Saturdays that he works he is out from 8am to 8pm so he doesn't see the children or me really for three days.
It's weird when it is just me and the two children. Firstly I need to cook a meal but I can't rely on someone to look after Baby Boy. You can't expect a five year old to watch a baby whilst you aren't in the room. And of course even though Top Ender is five she still needs watching.
I don't like to rely on the TV to babysit for me, but I will put it on for them both to watch whilst I am out of the room. I leave the door open between the kitchen and the living room so that I can watch them too, but meals on Thursday, Friday and Saturday are normally very simple affairs. Something that can either be cooked in ten minutes or under (pasta for example) or something that cooks without attention (anything that I can throw in the oven).
Bed time logistics are also something that needs to be carefully planned. Both children go to bed at roughly the same time. Top Ender needs to be in bed at 7:30pm so that by 8pm she is asleep. Baby Boy starts to go to sleep between 7:30 and 8:30pm, but is not able to go to sleep independently just yet, so timing is everything! Of course once the two children have gone to bed it is then time for all the chores to be done.
The dishes from dinner, watering the garden, tidying the living room, preparing for the next day and I'm all alone. Looking after the children by myself is something I do and don't complain about. Doing the chores by myself is something I do and don't complain about. Being on my own night after night, day after day is something that I don't know how I could cope with.
Every week when I get my little taste of being a single mummy I am glad that I am not.
So to all you single parents out there who do it for real day in and out, I bow to you.
I was a single mum for a few years and it is very hard work - it's not being able to walk away that is the worst - you just can't get away from it no matter how frustrated you get. I like it now when I get the odd night alone but like you I would never want to be there permanently. hats off to the single mums.
ReplyDeleteThanks :) Glad that I am not the only one who thinks like this!
ReplyDeleteThat does sound like hard work. I don't know how single parents do it either. The relentlessness must be very difficult to cope with.
ReplyDeleteI complain that my husband works six days a week, but at least we see him every day (he tries to get home in time to see Izzy before she goes to bed). It's only when he's away with work that I have to do it all myself, and that's only with one child!
There was a point when Daddy wasn't seen by Top Ender for three days because of the hours he had to work to keep us afloat. It makes us appreciate each other a lot more and the children understand that money is something that we have to work for!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to be a part time single parent too I think ... Mr is in the Navy so away for days / weeks / months at a time... but that's the life of a sailors wife! I think the difference is the 'real' single mums have no one ... i dont just mean physically, but at least when my man is away, he's there emotionally for me... im rmabling. But big up to the single mums xx
ReplyDeleteYes Mrs OMG! That is exactly it isn't it, we can do it for a period of time as needed as we know that there is someone there for us.
ReplyDeleteAgree - single parents are amazing. When I have a run of long days or time with the boys on my own (like recently), I think the only thing that keeps me going is knowing I can hand them over to Daddy as soon as he gets back. Not to have that option must be so tough.
ReplyDeleteSingle parents definitely deserve some admiration (my dad was one for a few years when we were little).
ReplyDeleteI whinge and moan (alot) about being on my own with the kids all day 6 days a week (as much as I love them) but I don't know how I'd cope if G wasn't there in the evening.
Hot Cross Mum and Insomniac Mummy, Glad that you understand where I am coming from!
ReplyDeletewhat lovely ladies you all are to empathise with single parents - it can be tough and relentless but if there's a helpful ex-partner, far from impossible. Lovely post an lovely comments
ReplyDeleteI've had those thoughts too, when Husband has been away, or working an evening. Yes, hat's off to the single parents, I say.
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