It's in my Genes!

Something has happened that has made me feel quite proud; Especially as I didn't set out to do it... I'm a cool and fun parent, and it isn't just me and my kids who think it!

Look me being cool at ten past Midnight!

I think there must be a cool/fun parent gene as my parents were cool and from tales I have been told I think both my parents, parents were "cool" too. There are two events which stand out as being the height of cool.

The first is the Christmas my parents cleared it with my friends parents, without my friends knowing, that they could have some eggnog as part of our little party. My friends were all about the alcohol, even at the tender age of ten. The second was a sleepover my sister had where they were allowed to watch a "horror" movie (I think it was The Lost Boys). At the time my parents were renovating and there was a 4 inch gap between the ceiling and a non supporting wall. My parents standing on chairs caused more screams that night from the group of girls than a group of girls at an East17 concert...

It all started because once a week (on a Friday) Top Ender, Baby Boy and I curl up on the sofa after a special dinner of Pizza and curly fries (well I eat the pizza, they eat both the pizza and fries) and watch a movie together.

We call it Mummy-Daughter-Son Date Night.

This week we will be able to snuggle under our Slanket, thanks to my photo of me with Baby Boys PJ's on my head, but that is a story for another day. I will also have to rescue said Slanket from Top Enders bed. I haven't had a look in since she opened the parcel.

Anyway, back to the original story. One of Top Enders classmates (lets call him Ernie as he is an earnest little chap) has managed to wangle an invite to one of these nights in the near future after hearing Top Ender and I talk about it after school.

"You mean you eat chips and pizza and have sweets every week?" Ernie asked
"Yes" I said
"And you watch a film instead of your programmes?" Ernie asked
"Yes" I said
"And Top Ender gets to stay up late?" Ernie asked
"Yes" I said
"Can I come to one???" Ernie asked
"We can see if we can arrange something with Mummy" I said

His Mum (High Heels Mum) has already told me that she is often told "Top Enders Mum this...", and "Top Enders Mum that..." and that the Christmas gifts that Top Ender gave out last year (home made shaped chocolate and lolly pops) were talked about until about Easter, so it seems that hearing about our nights in was the icing on the cake for him.

You have to admit this is pretty good icing on a cake!

I know that I previously talked about things to do on a small budget here which are things that I think are cool and in the next few days you are going to be treated to the places to eat on a small budget post, which I know Top Ender thinks is cool, but I think that I am going to have to start seriously thinking of cool things for me and the family to do... I can't lose my status now can I!

I'm not crazy! I just have a really really really good imagination!

Top Ender and I have a lot of games that we play together, that tend to drive Daddy crazy. You see Top Ender and I have very active imaginations.

For years when I babysat children I created imaginary worlds and situations to play in. I once took a group of eight children, with my sister, on a walk to a park and we pretended that we were walking through a zoo. As we went along we looked at each enclosure and watched what the animals were doing. This group of children are now young adults and I am still in touch with most of them. Those that I am still in touch with have mentioned this walk to me, and how they could really see the animals in the enclosures.

Of course there were no enclosures or animals just my very active imagination which all young children naturally have.

The thing is my imagination never left me.

I have invisible pets that I tell stories to children about that cause the parents to look at me as if I am mad because I appear to really believe the things I am saying...But that's because I do really believe the things I am saying! I mean I have two invisible pets dogs (although Top Ender now has one too) a whole group of monkeys and I am thinking of getting a few sheep. I use to have an invisible hippo called Holly, but she ran away and I had an invisible Gorilla but I haven't seen him around for a while. I think he moved out. Or maybe he got married. Hope he didn't get married as it would of been rude of him not to invite me to the wedding.

Top Ender has her invisible husband and children to contend with. She has a rather large number of them (children that is, there is only one husband) and often has to tell her invisible husband to stop being so silly or she will divorce him again. She divorced him the last time because he jumped in a puddle and got mud all over her dress. Apparently she wouldn't of minded had they not been going to his Grandmothers wedding...

It's fun to pretend like this. I mean who wouldn't rather watch a group of monkeys play whilst waiting in a queue at the Post Office? Or who wouldn't want to take an invisible dog for a walk on the beach in the moonlight? Admittedly walking to school with an invisible gorilla does get you some funny looks from the others who can't see the invisible gorilla, but you win some you lose some.

One day I will write a book about the invisible things that I see and earn my fortune but it will have to be anonymous... I might get put in a nice soft walled cell otherwise!

I have a TV Stalker

Before Top Ender was Top Ender our bedtime routine had a slot for watching Bear in the Big Blue House. If you have never seen it, then you won't know that a couple of minutes in Bear sniffs you through the TV screen and then normally says something like;

"Whats that smell? Oh! Its you!"

And then he says something like

"Tell me did you just have toast with honey on it? Cos you smell sweet like honey"

It all got a bit weird however and I even commented on it to a co-worker. Bear in the Big Blue House was stalking me. Yup, you read that right a character from a TV programme started stalking me and it wasn't just me being paranoid.

On the first day I noticed that he was following me he sniffed me and then he told me I smelt like the beach. I had got back from Nanny B's that day and one of the last things I had done was walk on the beach.

On the second day, I thought I would confuse him and so I had a bath and he sniffed me and told me I smelt clean and like bubbles. I haven't felt comfortable sitting on the sofa in my pajamas since.

On the third day, we had been swimming and I still had that chlorine smell about me, as I like that smell and didn't want to shower it off until the last possible second. He told me I smelt fresh like a swimming pool.

On the fourth day, I ran in from the kitchen brandishing a knife as I was busy carving a pumpkin for Halloween, and he told me I smelt spicy and sweet like a slice of pumpkin pie.

I think I scared him into backing off by brandishing the knife as on the fifth day he didn't sniff the chocolate I had been rolling around in and said that I smelt of grass... I figured he knew I was on to him.

Every so often I will tune into Bear in the Big Blue House, with a morbid curiosity to see if my stalker is still watching me by sniffing something that he would only know he could smell if he had been following me all day and you know what? I think he has forgotten that I know how to brandish a knife...

Stop Playing with your food! I've already done that for you!

Since Top Ender weaned, there has been a fascination on my side of things in making food look fun (and I am sure that her fascination with Big Cook Little Cook was a contributing factor here), so that she would try new foods and because sometimes its nice to do something unexpected!

Then I was reading Alpha Mummy about the creator of some fantastic sandwiches and I read the comments that some have said about it being a waste and that the children only pick at things and I started to get a little angry.

You see this is what started it off. Top Ender wouldn't eat peas. She couldn't be convinced to have one pass her lips until I made this;

That's right its a mash potato and crumbed fish in the shape of a fish, swimming above a seabed of peas. Oh and little tiny pea air bubbles escaping from its mouth, and it has a pea eye and fin.

I remember that night clearly as she ate every single pea without complaint, and begged for Princess pea pie the next night (which I made but can't find a photo of), which she again ate every single bite of!

So of course the next time we asked her to try something she hasn't had before the answer was Not on your life. Until we presented it to her in a more appetising way.

To be honest, I didn't make this. We got this as a meal for Top Ender at Disney Land Paris. But we had been trying to get her to try Olives. She took one look at the Mickey Pizza and pulled an Olive off and started to chew. She then spat it back out and looked at us horrified, but she tried it!

Then just the other night I decided that Top Ender deserved a bit of fun. So I made her dinner that evening three of her favourite foods; Hash Browns, Sausages and Baked Beans. And whilst trying to come up with an idea of what to make it into I realised this could be a Butterfly very easily...

So as you can see that is what I did. When Top Ender came to collect her plate she was so amazed at her Butterfly, that I didn't even get any complaints that I had used "proper" sausages with herbs in. She just ate it without complaint.

Now I don't want you thinking that Baby Boy gets left out of all this, he gets his fair share too. In fact this was his breakfast this morning, Pear, Grapes and two small pancakes. It's not the Mona Lisa, but my kids know talent...

As he ate it he pointed to the various features on his face as he ate the ones on the plate. All the while saying "Yumm!", so breakfast was not only healthy but a learning experience too.

So stop telling children to stop playing with their food - do it for them!

An after school activity a day will drive Mummy into debt!

Something that I do everyday is to get my news from the BBC Website and it was there that I cam across this article - BBC NEWS Education Join a new club: 'Am I bovvered?' - about why Teenagers are no longer attending clubs and groups as was the norm in the past and how they can now separate children into different categories according to if they go to out of school groups.

No kidding Sherlock? You mean shy children don't like to socialise with others? Jeeps, next you'll tell me that kids with a passion for a specific interest join clubs/groups to do with that area of interest... oh wait you do about half way down the article.

Couple this with a Tweet from Laura (Who I know from her lovely and funny and informative website http://www.arewenearlythereyetmummy.com) and who is also on Twitter (I follow her you know, I like to hang out with the cool kids, hoping it might rub off some day) about the Rainbows uniform being rather erm expensive and you have me sitting on the sofa all night wondering about Top Ender and Baby Boy and if they do enough social activities so that they will turn out to be balanced, well rounded, individuals who will contribute to this world in the future.

In the past Top Ender has wanted to join Ballet lessons, (which we couldn't afford so we brought her a DVD), Horse riding lessons (she was too young and we couldn't afford it anyway), Cheer leading (we couldn't afford it), and join a theatre group too (yup you guessed it we could afford it either).

Every week however she does go swimming with Daddy and attends the Library with me and Baby Boy and we try to do at least one fun family activity together at the weekend. Of course there are other activities at home such as painting, drawing, singing, dancing, gardening, walking, reading, jumping and a lot of other things that ends with an "ing" and are normally exhausting for me, but not her.

In July Top Ender wanted to join Rainbows (a feeder group to Brownies as I understand it) as a girl in her class had come to show and tell with the Ready for Rainbows book. I looked at the budget that Daddy and I had drawn up and knew there was some manoeuvrability and we could afford it (at long last!) and so made the needed calls. It was almost the end of term and so the group leader and I felt it would be better if she started in September, which she will.

It was also at this time that I signed her up for some Swimming Lessons at the local pool. Top Ender can swim, it is just she doesn't have the confidence in herself, or rather in the water, and the "slowly-deflating-the-arm-bands" method wasn't working. Also I could afford this as the lovely Government scheme offering free swimming to children meant that the part of the budget assigned to weekly swim sessions with Daddy was going spare!

But what about Baby Boy? I should take him to a Mother and Toddler group yeah? Well the last Mummy that I made friends with became a bit odd and overly competitive (see my post here Baby Versus Baby) and this has put me off a bit, plus I'm actually really shy, but I bet you wouldn't realise it as fake it 'til you make it is my motto, (although I've been faking for about twenty years now and still not made it!) and I smile a lot.

I am going to be signing up for Mummy and Me swim lessons for him and I in September and maybe there we will meet a Mummy and Toddler who can be our friends (or maybe not!) so for now I have to be content with my children growing up being able to swim and just hope for the other areas to round off nicely.

So let me ask you what do you do? More importantly what do you think I should do!

Harry Potter and the trip to the toilet

I took Top Ender to the cinema yesterday and as is usual in our household we both paid a visit to the toilet before we left our house. It reminded me of a trip to the toilet that I made on a Wednesday in April 2003 before Daddy and I (then just plain old Him and Me) went to see Johnny English.


Daddy and I had been trying for a baby for what seemed like ages, and had decided to stop trying and just let nature take its course. If I became pregnant then so be it. If I didn't, well then we would take the next step then.


With Daddy standing outside of the Bathroom door waiting his turn to empty his bladder before filling it with the super size coke during the film, I spied the last of the multi pack of pregnancy tests poking out of the box I kept sanitary products (and pregnancy tests!) in. Suddenly I realised that I needed to use that test because I was pregnant.


I remember clearly setting the test down on the small sliver of shelf next to the box whilst I continued doing my business and washing my hands and then picking up the test to see if the line was there or not.


Opening the door to Daddy who had no idea what I was doing (other than peeing) was the start of a whole new life for us and as I passed him the test, no words were needed. Of course handing him a stick covered in pee probably did need a little more explanation, than me standing there with a goofy grin but he understood after a nanosecond or two.


This of course led me to remember another trip to the toilet in September 2007, which I just realised was also a Wednesday, but first I need to take you back to the weekend.


Top Ender and I were going to visit Nanny B without Daddy as we did every month. Daddy and I had decided just a week before that it was time to have our second child and as he was saying Goodbye, to us in the car he bent down to my stomach and whispered "Bye Bye Baby".


When we got back from Nanny B's I wanted to take a test straight away but knew that if I did that it would probably show up negative because of my dates and knew I needed to wait a week.

I managed to last three days.

Again Daddy waited outside the bathroom door as I didn't want him to see me peeing on a stick, although this time he knew what I was doing! As I waited for the lines to appear I felt sick with nerves wondering if a new life was already inside of me waiting to be discovered.

The test turned positive and Daddy and I managed to keep our pleased grins and celebrations to ourselves as we didn't want Top Ender to know just yet and we wanted Top Ender to be given a gift when she found out that she was going to be a Big Sister.

We managed to last until the next day.

At the time Top Ender was very much into My Friends Tigger and Pooh and on a quick trip to the Disney store I purchased a Darby doll which we gave to her and told her the Baby in my tummy told me to buy it for her. Top Ender was thrilled with both the news and her new Toy!

So now I know what my Wordless Wednesday picture will be one day in the future, as I shall only ever take pregnancy tests on Wednesdays!

4 years, 4 months, 12 days and about 5 hours

There are 2 years, 2 months and 18 days between when I was born and my little Sister being born. Growing up it felt a lot closer. We were dressed in identical outfits that and shared a room until we moved house when I was seven. We were often mistaken for twins, which I think pleased our Mum.

We were very close and as we got older although we were two very different people with different tastes and interests we did a lot together - it was expected in our family. I would do anything for my little sister, I even got a paper-round because she was too young to get one and begged me to get it for her! Once we were "grown ups" we worked at two further companies together and loved it. We were still mistaken as Twins, or my favourite I was thought to be the younger sister!

When Daddy and I met, I was amazed at the age gap of 4 years 5 months and 1 day between him and his brother and the further gap of 4 years 3 months and 30 days between his brother and his sister (8 yrs and 9 months between Daddy and his sister). Watching the dynamic between them I could see that whilst they were friends and affectionate to each other they were not as close as my sister and I was still convinced that the 2 years age gap was the right one.

Baby Boy was born 4 years, 4 months, 12 days after Top Ender.

If I am honest I was terribly upset that we were not in a position to have our second child, but I knew that we had to wait. I was worried that the larger age gap would cause trouble for them bonding. Top Ender would not be interested in playing with Baby toys or with a baby.

Now however I'm a convert.

Having Baby Boy has been like having a first child all over again and that is a good thing. I have been able to give him my sole attention whilst Top Ender is at school, I have been able to teach him songs and words and take him for walks and play with him without worrying that Top Ender is feeling left out.

I have an in house help for fetching nappies and socks or shoes, and for making Baby Boy laugh when I can't stop him crying. I have been able to see Baby Boy follow his sister round the garden pausing at flowers like she does and pretending to sniff or water them.

I can't wait until I add another character to the mix... by my calculations I have another three years and about a month until I'm due!

Eight things to do on a small Entertainment fund!

Auntie (My Sister) has two daughters (Cousin and Baby Cousin) and together we have been talking about things we can do for free or reduced cost with them as an Entertainment Fund doesn't really feature in our budgets.

We have both allocated a small amount each week which in my case is spent on Top Enders Swimming Lessons, the occasional Saturday Kids Club Cinema trip (which is now free thanks to Woolworths!) and I really need to find a place or two that are suitable for Baby Boy. This has led to me looking for things to do for fun for little or no money, which in turn led me to create this list;

1) Board Games - Who doesn't enjoy a family board game? At the moment Baby Boy is a little too young to play, but is quite content to sit with either Daddy or I whilst we play a game or two.
Top Ender loves to play games and we have a fair few that we have collected over the years.

2) Film Nights - We have a lot of DVDs and have only scratched the surface on the number of films that we have that are suitable for family viewing. In addition to the films we own I will quite often record films from the television for later viewing on family film night, it takes no effort at all to all sit together eating popcorn and sweets being relaxed together.

3) Computer Games - With some money we got for Christmas and birthdays a couple of years ago we brought a Wii and a range of games soon joined the games we got for free as part of the deal. We enjoy playing all these games together and even managed to sneak a few educational ones in that help Top Ender! We also have a range of PC games that we play and Daddy has a set up that means he can play race games and flying simulators sitting between three screens that both he and our Top Ender loves. Again we have a number of games for our Top Ender that she thinks are fun, but we know are educational!

3a) On top of this there are hundreds of websites out there that Top Ender and Baby Boy will quite happily surf. Top Ender has a log on to the family PC and in her favourites are CBBC, CBeebies, BBC Learning Zone, Barbie, Disney, Nick Jr and those are just a few!

4) Parks and Playgrounds - We are so lucky, within a short walking distance we have a park, two playgrounds and just a short drive away we have a whole range of parks and playgrounds that are all free and fun to run round or to follow trails and to look for exciting nature type things. The benefit of this is that we also get plenty of exercise and fresh air!

5) Library Events - Our Local libraries are great. We can borrow books for free, we can attend story times (which are free) at any of the local libraries and there are normally displays that we can browse. Did I mention they are free?

6) Arts and Crafts - I am considered to be artsy crafty by my friends, the fact that I have no talent or natural ability doesn't stop me having a go and this means that I often surprise myself with some surprisingly good creations! Top Ender and Baby Boy love making and drawing things too. Together we can easily colour away an hour or three.

7) Cooking - When Daddy and I first started dating we would often cook together. Over the next few years we would cook together regularly and now Top Ender is learning to cook a dish a week with me. If it is the evening meal, cookies or cakes everything tastes so much better when she has cooked with me!

8) Gardening - Top Ender loves watering the plants, harvesting produce and weeding and in the Autumn will spend an hour or more gathering leaves. Baby Boy is quite happy running up and down smelling flowers and poking in the mud. Once a year we take a trip to a pick your own farm where we pick the fruits on offer for a fraction of the cost in a supermarket.

Lost: One Daddy and Mobile Phone

Thirty minutes after Daddy should of been home, I realised that he wasn't home. I thought twice about calling him on his mobile as he normally has his ipod on listening to Stephen Fry podcasts and doesn't hear his phone but I thought that as he was walking home it would be safer to call just in case he had forgotten to come home (he enjoys his job!) and we could go and pick him up.


So I rang his phone and a strange voice answered. Now I knew I had dialed Daddys phone, but I wanted to make sure so I took the phone away from my ear to check the screen and as I put it back the voice answered again;


"Hello" said the strange voice
"You're not my husband" I said
"No, I'm a Police Sergent" said the strange voice


At this point my heart started to slow right down and I could see Daddy laying in the road hit by a car, or possibly a mountain bike.


"Oh" I said

"Do you know if your husband walked past the Blue Lagoon lake today?" said the strange voice


At this point I was imagining Daddy in the lake and the local police dragging the lake.


"Yes I know he did this morning" I managed


As I said this I had wandered into the hallway, I didn't want to be near the children if I was told that their Daddy had been in an accident or worse.


"Well we found his phone by the lake today" the strange voice said


At this point I was about to collapse in a heap when Daddy walked in the front door into the hallway where I was standing. I ended the phone call after a few more minutes and arranged to pick the phone up the next day from the local Police Station.


Talking it over later we realised where it had all gone wrong. Had the policeman said to me "A local dog walker found your husbands phone on the path after having walked round the lake" then I would probably have remained a little more sane and my imagination would of been kept in check!


At least Daddy knows that I love him though!

Operator there's a Polar Bear in the Garden!

The other day I wasn't feeling too good. I spent most of the day trying to take it easy whilst trying to carry out the chores for the day and look after the children. I tweeted about it and got a few concerned @replies letting me know that people cared. I told them that I had checked that Top Ender knew what to do in an emergency and was now getting some air to try to shake off the dizzy and sick feeling.

I originally taught Top Ender how to dial 999 when I was pregnant with Baby Boy. I had visions of something going wrong when only she and I were home so we practised how to make an emergency call and how to contact Daddy.

We would let her pretend to dial an emergency service and we would have a conversation as if we were the operator and then the service for the emergency. She would call for fires, car accidents, mummy not being able to be woken up and other things that Top Ender dreamt up such as a polar bear having escaped from the Zoo (that could happen you know!) or a thief who only stole things starting with the letter K breaking into the house.

After having gone over what to do I realised that now she would be alone in the house with her brother and so asked her what she would do with him until help arrived. She was quite happy with this and explained she would play with him and make sure if he cried that he didn't need a drink or something to eat (she knows how to help feed Baby Boy, but doesn't do it very often) and if all else failed to stop him from crying because he wanted me she would give him one of her toys or some chocolate, "which always stops him crying".

We realised that we would have to make a few changes (just in case) to make things easier for her. She is able able to reach her own cutlery and we keep a plate for her in a lower cupboard but Baby Boys things are kept higher up so we moved a spoon, a bowl and a cup down for him to her cupboard and we went over again where we keep snack foods for both her and Baby Boy.

I felt a little better after having got some air, so Top Ender didn't need to put our plan into action, but I know that in the future if something does happen we will be ready.

Please leave a comment though letting me know what else I should teach her, because I am sure I missed something here!

A weekly reminder of how good I have it

On Thursdays and Friday nights and every other Saturday I get a little taste of what it is like to be a single parent.

On these nights Daddy works a full day and then goes straight to his second job and doesn't come home until after midnight if everything runs to plan. If it doesn't I have known him to come home two or three hours after that. On the Saturdays that he works he is out from 8am to 8pm so he doesn't see the children or me really for three days.

It's weird when it is just me and the two children. Firstly I need to cook a meal but I can't rely on someone to look after Baby Boy. You can't expect a five year old to watch a baby whilst you aren't in the room. And of course even though Top Ender is five she still needs watching.

I don't like to rely on the TV to babysit for me, but I will put it on for them both to watch whilst I am out of the room. I leave the door open between the kitchen and the living room so that I can watch them too, but meals on Thursday, Friday and Saturday are normally very simple affairs. Something that can either be cooked in ten minutes or under (pasta for example) or something that cooks without attention (anything that I can throw in the oven).

Bed time logistics are also something that needs to be carefully planned. Both children go to bed at roughly the same time. Top Ender needs to be in bed at 7:30pm so that by 8pm she is asleep. Baby Boy starts to go to sleep between 7:30 and 8:30pm, but is not able to go to sleep independently just yet, so timing is everything! Of course once the two children have gone to bed it is then time for all the chores to be done.

The dishes from dinner, watering the garden, tidying the living room, preparing for the next day and I'm all alone. Looking after the children by myself is something I do and don't complain about. Doing the chores by myself is something I do and don't complain about. Being on my own night after night, day after day is something that I don't know how I could cope with.

Every week when I get my little taste of being a single mummy I am glad that I am not.

So to all you single parents out there who do it for real day in and out, I bow to you.