Happy Halloween!

I love Halloween, giving myself a good scare and getting to dress up in silly costumes! It became a little bit of a joke at my work, because Daddy and I would prepare a Home made costume in secret from each other and in the past five years we have been, a Witch, a cat, a pilot, Miss Hoolie from Balamory, a little Devil, Greg Wiggle, Marge Simpson, Dora The Explorer, Boots the Monkey, a Firework display, a witch, Mickey Mouse, a Spider web, a spider (both Top Ender and Baby Boy!) and a Vampire!

This year we are all going to be cats, as it is an easy costume to make!

Normally Top Ender and I dress up as Witches during the day and at night change into our costumes. I found that it is easier to go to work dressed as a witch (black top, black skirt and my black cape) than some of my previous outfits, which would be noticed in the corporate world as sticking out a little too much!

As I am going to be busy today preparing the feast for my brood, decorating our house for the Trick or Treaters and making our costumes, I thought you wouldn't mind a sort of mainly wordless post with a selection of photos from the last five years.

You see we would normally be at my Mums, (a tradition that I started the Halloween after Top Ender was born), but with us having been ill and it being quite important that my Mum doesn't catch it (because of her condition) we thought it would be better not to go to hers this year and to stay at home.

So here are some shots from Halloween's past!

This year we will wait at home for Trick or Treaters (I've never done it in my own home before!) and if we feel up to it, we may walk to the Firework display in Bletchley Park later in the evening.... and I'll post about that later in the week!
Our feast this year, will be blood to start (tomato soup), followed by fingers in rolls, with finger nails and clotted blood (Hot dogs in rolls, with onions and ketchup!) and for pudding we will have dead fly cake (raisin cake) and quite possibly the booty from our visits to pre-arranged Houses!
I like to pre-arrange our Trick or Treat visits, so that the door will get answered and so that Top Ender and now Baby Boy will be safe. No knocking on the door of Strangers here!
I forgot to mention that we will be drinking poison, with frozen eye ball ice cubes (any drink, with frozen grapes!) so if you don't hear from me tomorrow you know why!

When is a Baby like a Cat?

Have you ever tried to get a cat to swallow a pill?

The easiest way would be to put it in food and let the cat unwittingly swallow the pill, but our cats seem to have a sixth sense about pills in food and tend eat round the tablet.

So instead we have to hold the cat, put the tablet in its mouth and then gently massage its throat until it has swallowed the pill and then give them some water to make sure everything is okay.


Have you ever tried to get a baby to swallow a pill?

The easiest way would be to put crush it in to food and let the baby unwittingly eat the food with the hidden pill, but pills always seem to taste bitter and after the first spoon or two the baby won't eat any more food and you are stuck with a baby who has only had half a dose of its medication.

Or at least that is what happened with the first tamiflu tablet Baby Boy had in a yogurt. Yesterday morning I gave Baby Boy sweetened porridge with a hidden pill and was on tender hooks until he had eaten it all. Which he did, because of my great impression of a fighter plane.

I needed something more easy on my nerves.

Yesterday evening I sat Baby Boy on my knee, explained to him what I was going to do and then lay him back put the pill in his mouth and quickly shoved a fruit shoot into his mouth. With a quick squirt the juice forced him to swallow the pill and the job was done.

Wait a minute? Did that really work? Apparently it did.

We'll try that one again then.

Top Ender is much easier to get to take pills. You just give her the pill dissolved in a little apple juice and she is away.

I just wish they were a little like Me. I've been taking pills since I was three as in the "olden days" they didn't make the medicines I had to take in any other form so I just knock 'em back like they are tic-tacs!

Wordless Wednesday - The REAL Hundred Acre Wood

Swine Flu

We have it.

That's right all of us.

At the same time.

Well, actually Top Ender was hit first and then me and then Daddy. Somewhere in the middle of it Baby Boy got a very mild version and generally hasn't been effected as much as the rest of us. For which I am incredibly thankful but, before I count my chickens, he has slept longer today so we might be in for a rough time still.

We were at my Nans when Top Ender got ill, and at first we didn't want to attribute her illness to swine flu, mostly because my Nan fits the at risk categories and I didn't want to be the one bringing it in to her home! We knew that it was a possibility however as two of Top Enders friends from her school year had been diagnosed with it the week before Half Term and a further friends brother was hospitalised from complications (but as far as we know he is okay now).

When we took Top Ender's Temperature and it was 104°F (40°C) we decided that we probably were dealing with Swine flu and so Daddy called the helpline. After answering the questions they gave Daddy a reference number and together they worked out where the nearest chemist to us was. Seeing as my Nan lives in quite a rural area, we were surprised that there was one quite close.

Daddy jumped in our car and set off, it was only when he was in the Chemist that he ran into problems.

"Do you have any ID for yourself?" asked the Pharmacist
"Yes, will a debit card do?" asked Daddy
"Yes, that's fine. And do you have any ID for Top Ender?" queried the Pharmacist
"Erm, other than photos of her on my phone, No. I didn't know I needed any." said Daddy

Turns out that if you call the helpline they neglect to tell you this little detail. Daddy of course realised a second problem, we are actually on holiday and so we couldn't even pop back home for any ID for Top Ender without a 3 hour drive first.

The Pharmacist was luckily understanding to our plight and whilst attempting to call to check what to do in an case such as this decided that our need was greater than protocol and sent Daddy on his way with the medication and advice on how to help make Top Ender better.

When we left my Nan's on the Monday (when Top Ender was over the worst of the fever), I realised that I was feeling tired. I put it down to having had a stressful weekend and with the motion of the car I was soon asleep. About an hour after we got home that I asked if we could turn the heating on as I was freezing. Something made Daddy take my temperature and he saw that it was 102°F (39°C).

It was only then that I realised that I had a sore throat, a pounding headache, a runny nose, a horrid cough, aching muscles, I wasn't hungry (there's a first!), and I actually felt a little sick... two hours later and Daddy got the chills too, although his temperature was 101°F (38°C).

Right now I am feeling semi okay. I am still running a fever but have enough strength to watch the children and play games on the floor (well I sit on the floor holding various items passed to me!) and I have even managed to put a load of washing on!

Top Ender and Baby Boy are on the way to recovery and had omelette's for tea tonight (Yes I did gag whilst making it). Top Ender doesn't seem to understand how she is feeling better, but still can't do anything without suddenly needing a short nap afterwards! Baby Boy is just wandering around all snotty asking;

"Boob pleeeeeeease Mama?"

Daddy is currently sleeping which I am hoping means come tonight he will take care of Baby Boy and Top Ender, but I am not holding out any hope!

So please pass on to all you know that you need to take a form of identification for the person picking up the medication AND the patient who the medication is prescribed for!

Top Ender Giggles - Accident on purpose?

The other day, my Mum had an accident and ended up having to go to hospital for stitches in her face. My Sister took her and described the gory details to me on the telephone the next day. That night as Top Ender and I were walking down to her Swimming lesson I was regaling her with the story.

"And the hole is so big, they can't put stitches in!" I said
"And is it still bleeding?" asked Top Ender
"Well, no they stopped the bleeding" I said
"Can you see the hole now?" she asked
"Yes... well I imagine they have put a special plaster bandage type thing on it now" I said

There was a pause as Top Ender processed what I had told her.

"Is that what she is going to wear for Halloween?" asked Top Ender
"What?" I asked thinking I had missed something
"Is she going to wear it for Halloween?!" repeated Top Ender impatiently
"Well it won't be healed by then, so I guess she will have it on" I said
"Cool costume then" stated Top Ender "Do you think she did it on purpose?!"
"I think that would be a bit extreme Top Ender" I answered, suddenly wondering if maybe she did do it to get the best costume award at our party

The Tale of Princess Top Ender and Baron Teenager Boy (and friends)

Once upon a time in a kingdom far away there lived a brave princess called Top Ender, who enjoyed playing on Arcade Games, such as The Fast and the Furious Super Bikes Racing Arcade Game. As a treat The King and Queen had taken the brave princess to the Kingdom of Brighton pier, where such a game existed.



Also in the kingdom, was Baron Teenager Boy. Baron Teenager Boy and his court also enjoyed playing The Fast and the Furious Super Bikes Racing Arcade Game and would often be found of an evening practising their skills, in order to impress the local Teenager Maidens.


And so it came to pass that both Princess Top Ender and Baron Teenager Boy were both going to race in the same race, as they has placed their coins into the machine at the same time. King Daddy stood next to Princess Top Ender, (Queen Mummy and Prince Baby Boy were posing for the court artist) as she navigated the course and Baron Teenager Boy's court stood with him.


As the race finished the court of Baron Teenager Boy congratulated the Baron on his triumphant 4th place victory. King Daddy looked at Princess Top Ender before clearing his throat loud enough for the Baron and his court to hear.


The Baron and the Court looked over to where Princess Top Ender was still sat on her motorbike and in front of the screen that showed a large "3rd".


The Baron Teenager Boy was then horrified that he had been beaten by a Princess, and not just any Princess but a five year old Princess. As the Baron left the Kingdom his Court could be heard calling out about how he had been beaten by such a young Princess and the Baron vowing that he would never play a Princess at the game again.

Princess Top Ender however took it all in her stride. After all, she was the best motorbike riding Princess around!

The End

I love you, but I am not buying you a Christmas Gift

Over at Parent Dish there is an article by the lovely Joanne Mallon about not buying gifts at Christmas for the adults in the family. Joanne sent me a quick link to it on Twitter as she knows that Christmas is big business in our house and was wondering my thoughts on the matter.

Like most holidays Christmas is becoming more and more commercialised. We all know the joke about the overheard comment about a nativity scene in a Christmas Display shop window and how "They are bringing religion into everything these days!", but that is really what Christmas is all about and is the main feature of the season in our house.

It was because of this that last year Daddy and I decided that we wouldn't buy gifts for each other, but would spend £15 on making a gift for each other. Okay so I decided, and it was also to do with reducing our Christmas budget and something I had seen in an episode of "7th Heaven" once, but it sounds better if I say it was both of us right?

We did both want something more personal and something that meant more than just another pack of chocolate or a new shirt. Daddy got quite into it and made his in secret at work, he teased me about it constantly. Meanwhile I was bricking it (sorry) because I couldn't think of anything to do for him... and I'm the crafty one!

I got a game of "Piptionary", yup a home made version name after me. It was great, he thought of everything, and we played a couple of games after we went to bed. Totally the best Christmas gift ever! I made him some melted record bowls and a jar of slips of paper saying "I love you" in 100 different languages. I did also make him some fudge, but it kind of went wrong.... luckily he loved what he got!

This has also spread to our birthdays. The above are the clocks that Daddy made for me for my 30th!

It was also at this time that my Sister, Mum and I decided that we would do a Secret Santa for the adults on our side of the family. We decided that we needed to spend £20 on one gift instead of what we normally spent. It worked out great, because we all spent less overall, we all got a gift that was thought out and not a last minute panic buy.

My Mum didn't want to do it this year (although she didn't stick to the rules last year either!) and so my Sister and I decided to take the next step this year and not to buy for each other or each others partners, but the children are fair game! We again set a price limit (£20 per child) and we both suggested gifts for our own children and left it at that.

Our Mum, always tells us not to buy for her but we never pay any attention, she gave us life after all! I always try to get her something important or special, but this year I am getting her a home made hamper and a photo album with photos of her Grandchildren. She specifically asked for the photos, the Hamper is my idea (I have made hampers for people for ten years now!) and it is going to be filled with things that she will use and a few extra treats that she wouldn't normally buy other than on very special occasions.

Before we go any further however, we need to tell Daddy to stop reading. That's right Daddy we are about to talk about your Christmas gifts and I would like them to remain a surprise so can you go away now?

This year the stocking for Daddy will contain all the usual things that an adult stocking in our family seems to include; deodorant, tissues, mints, a bit of chocolate, a couple of pens and a few little stocking filler toys which we normally pass on to the children. His gift is so far in two parts.

The first gift is again split into two. One part is a square photo frame for his desk. It has four areas for photos and I am going to have it engraved with our names under each square and each of us will have a head shot Brady Bunch style (where we are looking at someone in another frame). The second part of this will be frames of each of us individually, again with us looking at the other photos or pulling faces.



The second part is a secret hollow book. I am going to give it to him, with some sweets inside and a little love note or two. I just hope he realises what it is, and doesn't think it is just some book that he can't open the pages on!!!
You don't have to spend a fortune to have a good Christmas, some thought and a little effort go a long way. And kids always want to play with the box rather than the toys right?
I guess what I am trying to say is that even if you aren't religious Christmas isn't about money, or gifts its about family and love and goodwill to all men. So even though I love you, I am not buying you a Christmas gift... I might make you one though!

Wordless Wednesday - Percy our Gnome

This is Percy.

Percy lives in our front garden. He arrived one day whilst Daddy was at work, I was out with Baby Boy and Top Ender was at school.

Top Ender doesn't know it, but he is going to go on holiday soon...

Top Ender Giggles - Fractions

Last night Daddy was taking Baby Boy out on a secret Christmas errand (he went to Maplins, so I am guessing I have another Instructables Christmas gift) whilst Top Ender went to bed.

Top Ender has had three late nights in a row and as such was not impressed that Baby Boy was going out with her Daddy, as she felt she needed him in the house in order to go to sleep.

"It will now take me ages to fall asleep, an hour and a half! And you wont be back for an hour and two quarters!" she yelled stomping up the stairs

Daddy looked at me as we both did the math in our heads

"But they are the same!" Daddy called back
"Hmph" grunted Top Ender

The Parents Evening Worry!

When I was Top Enders age, I remember parents evening as being something that my parents went to, then came home and pretended that the teachers had told them some horrid things about me, before actually confirming that I was on target for what was expected of me.

As I got older, parents evening became terrifying for me, not because I wasn't a good student, but because I hated feeling that I had let my parents down by not trying hard enough. I was not a "Straight A" student, although I always tried hard.

Parents evening now is just as terrifying, because I worry that I am letting Top Ender down by not helping her enough, or by helping her too much!

At our appointment on Wednesday we spent ten minutes looking at Top Enders books and the work she has done with Mrs Wise Owl (that's Top Enders teacher) so far this year. Both Daddy and I were impressed by Top Enders work and spotted confirmation of a couple of areas in her work that we knew that she needs help with.

Then it was time to speak with the teacher.

Mrs Wise Owl let us know that Top Ender is doing well and other than the couple of areas that we had already spotted, she was above average in her work. The only "concern" was that Top Ender constantly hums or sings under her breath! The bit that amuses Mrs Wise Owl is that Top Ender doesn't even seem to realise she is doing it... it is unfortunately a habit that needs to be curbed.

We came up with a plan to help Top Ender and were sent on our way. It was all over and done for another term and a little disappointing, because as it turns out I'm doing all I should and the little extras are showing that Top Ender is thriving on it!

Top Ender Giggles - Real Food

Last night to stop Top Ender and I moping around the house, Daddy took a surprise night off and took us on a long stopped tradition of walking round the local shopping Centre on a Thursday night. Top Ender was starting to feel hungry and so we ventured to the food hall of Marks and Spencers

"As a treat, I'll buy you a Marks and Spencers meal for dinner" I told Top Ender

"But I don't want a Marks and Spencers meal!" whinged Top Ender

"I'll let you choose any meal you want, I won't only give you a few options!" I tried brightly

"But I want real food... like McDonalds!" slandered Top Ender

Just a quick edit, for all those who have no idea what M&S is about, this was a Christmas ad from them in 2006...

Altogether now; This isn't just food this is M&S food.

He was a terrific mouser

I had a horrid decision to make yesterday and subsequently last Night I had a strange dream that reminded me of the Film "The Three Lives of Thomasina" and in particular this scene;

Because today I am taking Dibbles, one of our cats, to the Vets to be put to sleep.

Dibbles is a very old cat, he must be 21 years old, and when my Mum had to move from the house I grew up in he came to live with us and our three cats. Although he was one of the family cats, he was my cat and he use to snuggle into me and my bed when I was only a few years older than Top Ender.

I have explained to Top Ender that Dibbles is going to go to sleep, and that it is whilst he is asleep that he will die. I couldn't come out with the whole truth, we have already too much loss this year.

We are Christians and as such, have taught Top Ender about life after Death. She knows that in Heaven we will see those who have gone before us and this includes pets. She came up with an idea this morning that pets that go to Heaven before their owners are looked after by relatives or special foster Angels until the owner can take over.

She has come up with a little first day in Heaven plan for Dibbles, where he will do all the things that he likes and will find a nice warm blanket to snuggle on before he goes and visits with his and our relatives. This little story actually makes me feel better about the choice I have had to make.

This evening we will bury Dibbles and say a few words, there won't be bagpipes, but Top Ender and I will have a good cry.

Wordless Wednedsay - Its Pooh's birthday, and Top Ender has hugged him!

Top Ender Giggles - They said what?

In the summer we went to an Open Air showing of the Film Grease and Top Ender loved it. The soundtrack has made its way into the car, so we can listen to it there and it was only when we started listening as a family that Daddy and I realised just how grown up this film is and began dreading the day Top Ender asked for clarification on the lyrics.

We were listening and singing along to the song "Greased Lightning", for those of you who don't know these are the lyrics;

Go, greased lightning, you're burning up the quarter mile.

Greased lightning, go greased lightning.

Go, greased lightning, you're coasting through the heat lap trials.

Greased lightning go greased lightning.

You are supreme, the chicks'll cream, for greased lightning.

Yeah, you read right.

What was that last bit" asked Top Ender as Daddy and I stared at each other wide eyed

"Jigsaw cream!" answered Daddy "You know cream that you put on Jigsaws" he added

"Oh!" said Top Ender whilst I tried to silently giggle, but made odd squeaking noises instead

"Jigsaw cream" said Daddy reassuringly to Top Ender and looking at me in a beseeching way.

A few seconds passed when we heard "Huh? Jigsaw cream?" from a whispering Top Ender.

Top Ender and Cousin Giggles - Anything of yours is mine and what is mine is my own!

Granny was taking Top Ender, Cousin and Baby Boy to McDonald's for some tea. They were all sat in the back of the car and Top Ender and Cousin were talking excitedly about Christmas. Cousin (who is two and a half) was trying to explain that for Christmas she would like Barbie's pet Horse.

"I want a pony" Cousin said
"Do you mean 'My Little Pony' like I have?" asked Top Ender
"No, it will be My Pony not yours!" exclaimed Cousin

Wordless Wednesday - Being held Captive!

Top Ender and Daddy Giggles - I only got two!

Daddy has been growing a beard. Something to do with turning 30 a couple of years back apparently. I blame Dave Gorman.

Today he was complaining about it to Top Ender and I, about how it is getting a little curly and long round his chin. Whilst he was doing this he was gently pulling at a loose straggly hair.

"Can I touch it" asked Top Ender
"Yes, you can even pull one out if you want" said Daddy thinking of shaving it off

Top Ender tried to pull one out.

"I can't do it" she said
"Use your fingernails" said Daddy

Top Ender tried again

"Aaaaaaah!" screamed Daddy "I meant only one not a whole bunch!" he squealed
"I only got two!" said Top Ender already walking them to the bin

I just sat on the sofa trying not to giggle

Top Ender Giggles - Sausage porn

Today Top Ender had been good enough to warrant a treat whilst we were doing our weekly shop.

"Can I have a Cumberland Sausage please?" asked Top Ender
"Of course you can, get a second one for Baby Boy too please" I answered

Top Ender queued dutifully and ordered the two cooked sausages from the hot deli counter.

"Can I carry them?" asked Top Ender
"It would probably be better if you put them in the trolley" I said
"They do get quite hot after a while" said Daddy.

We walked a few steps further down before Top Ender looked at the sausages in the bag, sitting in the trolley.

"They look like they are having SEX!" she said (but it seemed to echo all around)

"Top Ender you don't even know what that means, so don't say it!" I said feeling shocked
"It means they are in love" she said
"Where did you learn that?" questioned Daddy
"The Simpsons" answered Top Ender simply

"I knew it was The Simpsons. Even when it was the bears" I muttered wishing my previous ban on them had stayed in place, and realising that using a quote from The Simpsons to prove my point was probably proving a further point about watching The Simpsons...

"Guess we are banning those again then" said Daddy
"Just like when Marge bans 'Itchy and Scratchy'!" said Top Ender
"Yes, Top Ender" I said wearily wondering how long it would be this time

It's in my Genes!

Something has happened that has made me feel quite proud; Especially as I didn't set out to do it... I'm a cool and fun parent, and it isn't just me and my kids who think it!

Look me being cool at ten past Midnight!

I think there must be a cool/fun parent gene as my parents were cool and from tales I have been told I think both my parents, parents were "cool" too. There are two events which stand out as being the height of cool.

The first is the Christmas my parents cleared it with my friends parents, without my friends knowing, that they could have some eggnog as part of our little party. My friends were all about the alcohol, even at the tender age of ten. The second was a sleepover my sister had where they were allowed to watch a "horror" movie (I think it was The Lost Boys). At the time my parents were renovating and there was a 4 inch gap between the ceiling and a non supporting wall. My parents standing on chairs caused more screams that night from the group of girls than a group of girls at an East17 concert...

It all started because once a week (on a Friday) Top Ender, Baby Boy and I curl up on the sofa after a special dinner of Pizza and curly fries (well I eat the pizza, they eat both the pizza and fries) and watch a movie together.

We call it Mummy-Daughter-Son Date Night.

This week we will be able to snuggle under our Slanket, thanks to my photo of me with Baby Boys PJ's on my head, but that is a story for another day. I will also have to rescue said Slanket from Top Enders bed. I haven't had a look in since she opened the parcel.

Anyway, back to the original story. One of Top Enders classmates (lets call him Ernie as he is an earnest little chap) has managed to wangle an invite to one of these nights in the near future after hearing Top Ender and I talk about it after school.

"You mean you eat chips and pizza and have sweets every week?" Ernie asked
"Yes" I said
"And you watch a film instead of your programmes?" Ernie asked
"Yes" I said
"And Top Ender gets to stay up late?" Ernie asked
"Yes" I said
"Can I come to one???" Ernie asked
"We can see if we can arrange something with Mummy" I said

His Mum (High Heels Mum) has already told me that she is often told "Top Enders Mum this...", and "Top Enders Mum that..." and that the Christmas gifts that Top Ender gave out last year (home made shaped chocolate and lolly pops) were talked about until about Easter, so it seems that hearing about our nights in was the icing on the cake for him.

You have to admit this is pretty good icing on a cake!

I know that I previously talked about things to do on a small budget here which are things that I think are cool and in the next few days you are going to be treated to the places to eat on a small budget post, which I know Top Ender thinks is cool, but I think that I am going to have to start seriously thinking of cool things for me and the family to do... I can't lose my status now can I!