Top Ender Giggles - French Breakfast

Whilst we were eating dinner on Sunday Top Ender asked if she could get dressed before she had dinner the next day. We all giggled because she had meant breakfast, I told her that it was up to her when she got dressed (within reason) and the conversation moved on.

It got me thinking though as the French say Petit Déjeuner and that means small lunch right? So I said;

"Tomorrow we will have a French Breakfast!"

I was thinking bowls of Hot Chocolate to dip croissants in, maybe a pain au chocolat for Top Ender and Baby Boy or a Tartine and if I am feeling really generous some yogurt and fruit or ham and cheese.

"Oh but I wanted a pain au chocolat!" whinged Top Ender
"Top Ender, where do pain au chocolat's come from?" asked Daddy
"I don't know!" she answered
"Think what language it is" I said
"Erm London?" she asked

Top Ender Giggles - When she is right, she's right!

Last Sunday the car was covered in salt and sand from our trip to the seaside to see Nanny B, so Top Ender and Daddy went for a quick car wash whilst Baby Boy and I stayed at home.

Top Ender was sitting in the front seat whilst they were in the car wash and was looking out of the passenger window.

"We're moving Daddy" said Top Ender
"No it is just the brushes making it look like we are moving" answered Daddy knowingly
"No we really are moving" said Top Ender
"No Top Ender it is just the brushes, it is making an optical illusion" Daddy said trying to dust the dashboard
"We really are!" exclaimed Top Ender
"Top Ender! Daddy pleaded
"I swear we are moving!" muttered Top Ender

A few minutes later as Daddy started the car to drive out of the car wash he realised that the handbrake wasn't on.

"Oh erm you know what Top Ender? We probably were moving." he admitted
"I knew it!"

Top Ender Giggles - At least it wasn't in Tescos

I need to have a word with Mrs Wise Owl.

Top Ender was playing with Daisy and Daniel (her rabbits) and had just put them to bed.

She then announced that they had been having sex and they had filmed it on their mobile phones for them.

A quick discussion about what sex actually was (in broad terms) and she told Daddy and I that it was okay because her Rabbits look the same naked and so it was just like having sex with a mirror.

It was at this point Daddy nearly wet himself laughing and had to duck out of sight.

As I was saying I think I might need to have a word with Mrs Wise Owl.

Top Ender Giggles - A Bit of Roughage?

"Muuuuum! Baby Boy has licked one of my cakes with Sandpaper on the bottom and I don't want it now!" said Top Ender.

After stopping laughing I let Top Ender go and get a new Brownie with rice paper on the bottom from the pot in the Kitchen.

Top Ender Giggles - Its a bloke wearing a Dress!

Last week Top Ender was sitting in the back of the car as we drove past a local Adult Nightclub (Its the local Lesbian, Gay & Transgender Venue, don't you know). Normally when we go past this club the car park is empty and I have only once seen something (well someone) in the car park that made me double check what I had just seen as it was gone Midnight and I wasn't sure if I should believe my own tired eyes!

As we drove past I noticed in the car park a gentleman standing next to his car. The gentleman wasn't wearing the usual type of clothing that a gentleman would. He was however wearing a very nice black and purple Lycra dress and patent black high heels.

There were some giggles from the back of the car as Top Ender spotted him.

"Whats funny Top Ender?" asked Daddy
"There was a man wearing a purple and black dress!" giggled Top Ender
"How do you know it was a man?" asked Daddy
"It was very obviously a man!" I snorted
"He might of been going to a fancy dress party" said Daddy
"No he wasn't wearing a wig, it was just a man wearing a dress!" answered Top Ender

Edit: Obviously the picture isn't a bloke in a dress, its me when I was pregnant with Baby Boy going out to a Christmas dinner....

Top Ender Giggles - Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese!

Whilst we were in the car, Top Ender was keeping us entertained with a constant stream of chatter about various topics including the near future.

"Mum? One day when my friends come round they will bring their boyfriend" she said
"Yeah?" I answered whilst wondering if it was one boyfriend per two girls these days
"Yes and then they will kiss their boyfriend!" she giggled
"You're only five!" said Daddy (a quick glance saw he was taking this seriously!)
"So are our Boyfriends Daddy!" she answered

Top Ender Does Panto... "Oh yes she does!"

This is a special post by Top Ender, (Oh No it isn't! Mummy stop adding things and Oh Yes it is!) Mummy has typed what I have told her to say, but she has added pictures and stuff. Mummy also wants to talk at the end.



Last week we finished up our bottle of Blackcurrant that we had been given by Nanny B. On the label it said that I could Put on a Panto. I know all about Panto's as Mummy has told me about them as we are going to go and see Cinderella at the Milton Keynes Theatre as part of the Have A Lovely Time series "The Great British Panto, 2009".



So I got Mummy to take me to the website that is here and followed all the steps to get my own panto of Snow White. I thought that as I was going to see Cinderella that I should do another one, and I like Snow White.



I asked Mummy if she would be the Beautiful Evil Queen as I would be Snow White and I was going to phone up Daddy at work and ask if he would be in my panto too, but Mummy pointed out that even with us all playing a part we still wouldn't have enough people and so I would need to ask some more people.



I thought about this for ages and then decided that I would play all the parts using puppets! Mummy is going to help me make the puppets and a special theatre made out of a box, which she said we would paint red and white stripped like a Punch and Judy tent. I decided that if I used the laptop in my tent, I would be able to use the Autocue 5000T to do all the voices, and that way I wouldn't have to worry about not being able to read the script.



I am really excited and Mummy said she will record our Panto so that we can send it to Nanny B at Christmas as it was her bottle of Juice that gave us the idea! I am off to draw my puppets!

Mummy here (Boo Hiss!), Top Ender is really excited about this Panto and so if I can I will edit a small amount to be shown on here in the run up to Christmas... but you might need to wait until Daddy is around as I have no clue how to do it!

The Robinsons Website is great and Top Ender was easily able to navigate it, and understand what she was supposed to do. I would recommend it to anyone (in fact I already have in the School playground) and if you think outside the box like Top Ender it is easy for those who are younger to be involved in the Panto production too!

Daddy Giggles - I knew it when I married him!

Daddy and I have been encouraging Top Ender to drink water through out the day, as we told her that being hydrated would help her get better. We have been adding very weak squash to the water in order to get her to drink it, at more than a rate of a bottle every 24 hours

Daddy went into the kitchen to fill up Top Enders Bottle and I could hear him pushing the freezer stick into the bottle.

"Daddy? The freezer stick is supposed to stay in the cap" I called
"But then the lid doesn't come off!" he called back
"You have to unscrew the top lid" I called back again
"That hole is too small for pouring things in!" he answered
"Then you unscrew the second lid" I called back

I could hear the top lid being unscrewed, followed by the second lid and a gentle giggle from Daddy:

"I wondered how you were supposed to get the stick out to put it in the freezer!" he giggled

Top Ender has only had the bottle for nine months!

Top Ender Giggles - They said what?

In the summer we went to an Open Air showing of the Film Grease and Top Ender loved it. The soundtrack has made its way into the car, so we can listen to it there and it was only when we started listening as a family that Daddy and I realised just how grown up this film is and began dreading the day Top Ender asked for clarification on the lyrics.

We were listening and singing along to the song "Greased Lightning", for those of you who don't know these are the lyrics;

Go, greased lightning, you're burning up the quarter mile.

Greased lightning, go greased lightning.

Go, greased lightning, you're coasting through the heat lap trials.

Greased lightning go greased lightning.

You are supreme, the chicks'll cream, for greased lightning.

Yeah, you read right.

What was that last bit" asked Top Ender as Daddy and I stared at each other wide eyed

"Jigsaw cream!" answered Daddy "You know cream that you put on Jigsaws" he added

"Oh!" said Top Ender whilst I tried to silently giggle, but made odd squeaking noises instead

"Jigsaw cream" said Daddy reassuringly to Top Ender and looking at me in a beseeching way.

A few seconds passed when we heard "Huh? Jigsaw cream?" from a whispering Top Ender.

Top Ender and Daddy Giggles - I only got two!

Daddy has been growing a beard. Something to do with turning 30 a couple of years back apparently. I blame Dave Gorman.

Today he was complaining about it to Top Ender and I, about how it is getting a little curly and long round his chin. Whilst he was doing this he was gently pulling at a loose straggly hair.

"Can I touch it" asked Top Ender
"Yes, you can even pull one out if you want" said Daddy thinking of shaving it off

Top Ender tried to pull one out.

"I can't do it" she said
"Use your fingernails" said Daddy

Top Ender tried again

"Aaaaaaah!" screamed Daddy "I meant only one not a whole bunch!" he squealed
"I only got two!" said Top Ender already walking them to the bin

I just sat on the sofa trying not to giggle

Top Ender Giggles - Sausage porn

Today Top Ender had been good enough to warrant a treat whilst we were doing our weekly shop.

"Can I have a Cumberland Sausage please?" asked Top Ender
"Of course you can, get a second one for Baby Boy too please" I answered

Top Ender queued dutifully and ordered the two cooked sausages from the hot deli counter.

"Can I carry them?" asked Top Ender
"It would probably be better if you put them in the trolley" I said
"They do get quite hot after a while" said Daddy.

We walked a few steps further down before Top Ender looked at the sausages in the bag, sitting in the trolley.

"They look like they are having SEX!" she said (but it seemed to echo all around)

"Top Ender you don't even know what that means, so don't say it!" I said feeling shocked
"It means they are in love" she said
"Where did you learn that?" questioned Daddy
"The Simpsons" answered Top Ender simply

"I knew it was The Simpsons. Even when it was the bears" I muttered wishing my previous ban on them had stayed in place, and realising that using a quote from The Simpsons to prove my point was probably proving a further point about watching The Simpsons...

"Guess we are banning those again then" said Daddy
"Just like when Marge bans 'Itchy and Scratchy'!" said Top Ender
"Yes, Top Ender" I said wearily wondering how long it would be this time

Top Ender Giggles - The olden days

Top Ender was going up to her room to play on her computer, whilst I was working and Daddy was going to take Baby Boy out on Daddy Son Date Night.

"Your very lucky Top Ender, I never had a computer when I was your age!" said Daddy
"Were you born in the olden days then?" asked Top Ender

Top Ender Giggles - Class divide

"So tell me about School Top Ender" said Daddy
"What do you want to know?" asked Top Ender
"Anything!" said Daddy
"Well I sit on the triangle table, some sit on the circle table and some sit on the hooligan table."
"Top Ender do you mean hexagon?" said Daddy trying to stifle the giggles
"Yes Daddy" said an indignant Top Ender

Knowing the children in Top Enders class, I can't help but feel that I know who sits on the hooligan table.