Top Ender Giggles - At least it wasn't in Tescos

I need to have a word with Mrs Wise Owl.

Top Ender was playing with Daisy and Daniel (her rabbits) and had just put them to bed.

She then announced that they had been having sex and they had filmed it on their mobile phones for them.

A quick discussion about what sex actually was (in broad terms) and she told Daddy and I that it was okay because her Rabbits look the same naked and so it was just like having sex with a mirror.

It was at this point Daddy nearly wet himself laughing and had to duck out of sight.

As I was saying I think I might need to have a word with Mrs Wise Owl.

Top Ender Giggles - Unrequited Love

The other night as Top Ender was coming out of school she stopped for a second and spoke to Mrs Wise Owl. I was too far away to hear what was being said, and we already know that I can't lip read so when Top Ender made it to me I asked her what she had asked.

"Oh I was just asking her to have a word with Lothario" (not his real name!)
"Why's that then?" I asked
"Well he wants me to be his Girlfriend and keeps trying to kiss me" she stated
"He what?!" I said trying to remember to breathe
"He wants me to be his Girlfriend and keeps trying to kiss me!" she repeated
"And you don't want to be his Girlfriend or kiss him?" I asked silently praying the answer would be No
"No, so I asked Mrs Wise Owl to tell him to stop it"

The next day I asked Top Ender if everything had been sorted with Lothario at school.

"Yes" she said
"Did Mrs Wise Owl have a word with him?" I asked
"Yes, but it didn't matter as he doesn't want me to be his Girlfriend anymore"
"That's good then" I said
"I told him that I was just too young for a boyfriend and that we should just be friends" she stated

Phew dodged that bullet then!

When Parents and Teachers disagree

In general I trust teachers. I don't go in and question every little choice that they make (even though sometimes I wonder!) and I tend not to take up their time unless I feel it is really needed (I won't stand bullying) or a parents evening has been scheduled.

In the parents evenings I take notes on what is said, ask questions about Top Enders progress, what can be done to help her at home and generally show an interest in her and her school life.

I felt that the teachers and I were a team.

Then a few weeks ago I was summoned to a classroom along with around twenty other parents where a teacher explained that our children were being put on to a special course to boost confidence and was just the same as the other children were doing, but they would get some really simple homework each week and did we have any objections to this if so speak now or forever hold your peace.

I didn't speak up then because I knew that Top Ender does suffer from confidence in her school work. She will often tell me that she can't do something, when I know that she can.

In her reading record book I have even written that Top Ender needed to be "tricked" into thinking the book she was reading was a lower level than it really was before she felt able to read this one quite wordy book. And she did then read it without any hesitation or mistakes.

So when Top Ender came home last Monday with spellings made up of two letters I got a little angry. Anyone that follows me of Twitter knows that Top Ender has been getting five out of five on her spellings for the last few weeks and the words are a lot harder than two bloody letters.

I decided to speak with Top Enders teacher about the spellings and why they were different for the children on this course as opposed to the other children in the class, but it was too late that evening so I went online and looked up this programme that Top Ender had been put on. I even downloaded the teacher lesson handbook.

The ELS programme is for children who are falling behind in reading or writing according to the levels set for children in year one.

Top Ender isn't falling behind in reading or writing according to the reports and parents evenings I have had and in some areas is reaching the levels set for children in year two. I was angry.

The following evening after School I asked Mrs Wise Owl why Top Ender had been put on to the ELS programme. Mrs Wise Owl made a few generalisations about the programme and repeated that it was a confidence building programme and looked at me as if I were a parent who thought that their little angel could do no wrong, when clearly they were.

I countered this look by explaining that I knew all about the ELS programme, what it was for, what it hoped to achieve and that I had a copy of the Teachers Handbook at home.

Mrs Wise Owl looked a bit sick. Eventually she explained that Top Ender had been put on this programme as she didn't always form some of her letters correctly and during a test piece of work they had spotted these errors.

I felt a little sick as I realised that Top Ender has been stopped from doing her normal work for twenty minutes a day and taken out of lessons because she sometimes doesn't form some of her letters correctly.

I asked Mrs Wise Owl why instead of putting her on this programme they simply hadn't asked me to go over this with Top Ender at home.

Mrs Wise Owl looked at me as if I was stupid.

I explained that I understood that as a Teacher she couldn't give one to one help all day, but that as a parent I could, and that as a parent it was my job.

Mrs Wise Owl looked at me as if I were a new breed of parent, or I had a third arm growing out of my head.

I explained that I wanted to revoke my permission for Top Ender to be in this programme and that as Top Ender learnt best from repetition that perhaps it would be best if I went over with her at home.

Mrs Wise Owl asked me not to remove Top Ender from the programme until the end of term, so we could see if the course was helping her or not and that she would look at Top Enders school work to see if there was improvement.

She then asked if I was happy with this.

"No, I'm not." I said "but I will go along with it until the end of term as long as you send home with Top Ender the proper spellings each week that I will test her on."

Mrs Wise Owl looked at me suspiciously but agreed and handed over the spellings for the week.

Am I right to expect to be included in Top Enders education?

Where is Top Ender?

Last week Daddy took Top Ender to school one morning as they were having a good discussion and wanted to carry it on.

During the day I spoke with Daddy on Instant Messenger several times. More than likely about silly stuff like a shower curtain he had seen, or maybe how much thin mucus your nose produces every day (4 pints I am told, yeah I know that is disgusting!).

I'm not really sure though because we waffle a lot and the days all merge into one long waffled conversation, rather like the ones we have when he comes home at Midnight and I am asleep and don't realise until an hour later that he is in bed and I say something like;

"Oh its you!"

Well who else would be in my bed? Jeffrey Dean Morgan or Javier Bardem? (A girl can wish can't she?!) On a side note, don't they look similar? I also see a little of Nick Knowles about them, who my Mum and Sister met in a pub once, but I am digressing...

So Top Enders Teacher comes to the cloakroom door and the class starts to file out. They come out in alphabetical order, so I know I have a couple of minutes and so I carry on talking to High Heels Mum.

Then I realise that the children coming out are from the next class.

No problem Top Ender is probably having problems with her coat or trying to find a missing glove I think to myself.

Then I realise that the children coming out are from the third and last class.

Suddenly I realise that I don't know if Top Ender got into school that day because I didn't take her. What if Daddy dropped her off at the Gate, but then she decided to walk to town instead of going in to school? What if....

I catch Mrs Wise Owl's eye and she mouths something about Top Ender. So I have a moment of relief followed by confusion as I don't lip read all that well and she either said that Top Ender was inside or she didn't come to school. Thinking on it maybe I do have great lip reading skills, but Mrs Wise Owl needs to work more on bettering her mouthing words so people can understand them skills...

I walk down to the door and Mrs Wise Owl says that Top Ender is in the medical room as she accidentally bumped a table corner in a delicate area.... well they are at the same height!

Top Ender was fine sitting in the medical room discussing kittens with another little girl who had also been in some scrape just before home time. She was handed over to me without question (because apparently we look alike!) and we went off home... but now I always check that Daddy has deposited Top Ender into the school when ever he has taken her and we IM during the day!